I climbed into bed at 3am after having to go pee again. I felt miserable, I was tired, I’d been having Braxton Hicks contractions for the past three weeks. I was 37 weeks 5days and all I wanted to do was sleep.
As I laid down water came flushing out of me. I shot up and started running to the bathroom yelling, “Babe! Wake up! My water broke!” I was wide awake. I hopped in the shower to try and clean myself up for the hospital, but the amniotic fluid would not stop coming! As I got out my husband had grabbed the bags. I threw on the first thing I saw. I grabbed a towel so I hopefully wouldn’t leak on the car seat, and we rushed to the hospital.
When we got there we had to ring a doorbell at maternity ward to be let in. They rolled down a wheelchair as apparently when your water breaks you’re not allowed to walk. We got up to the room and they hooked me up. I was all set by about 3:45. Only one problem:
I wasn’t having contractions
Not even Braxton Hicks. They talked to the doctor and at about 5:30am he decided to induce me. For those who don’t know, after your water breaks you have 24 hours to give birth or else your child is at risk.
Around 7am I began having contractions. Period pain has nothing on this. Not even PCOS cramps! I felt awful. About 9:30am I asked for an epidural. They asked we to see if I could hold off any longer, but I wanted out of pain. About 10am the administrated the epidural. Getting it wasn’t bad, just a pinch and some pressure.
About 30 minutes later I couldn’t feel anything below my breast. I actually began to doze in and out. Although it was hardly rest at all my husband still won’t let me live down that I got to sleep and he didn’t. It didn’t last long though.
Around 11:30 I began feeling contractions again. By 12:30 they told me it was time to push. I never felt “the urge” to push, just lots of pain. By 2pm he still wasn’t here, and the epidural had worn off.
I begged and begged for more epidural. They said I couldn’t have any because I wouldn’t be able to push. I didn’t have to energy to push anyways, but I had no choice. Pushing was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
My son became stuck in my birth canal. They thought maybe he was facing the wrong way. Babies are supposed to be face down, facing your back, they thought his face was up. They had me get on my hands and knees to turn him around. We didn’t know at the time that that was not the problem.
We tried on my hands and knees, we tried pulling a bar, pulling a rope, pushing my legs back, every position possible. I pooped myself, I vomited, there was blood everywhere.
Around 3 the doctor began using a vacuum. We tried this on and off till around 5. It wasn’t working.
At 5 the doctor began preparing for an emergency c-section. By 5:30 everyone was waiting, watching me push. The doctor tried the vacuum one last time, and out came my son. His elbow was above his head which was why we had so much trouble. He wasn’t breathing, crying anything.
The doctor laid my son on me long enough to have my husband cut the cord. They whisked him away to the corner of the room. The doctor stayed stitching me up. I kept asking “is he ok,” but no one would answer me. After what seemed like an eternity they replied, “he’s ok.” I then heard the softest little cry. I wanted my baby, but they took him away to NICU. I knew it was for the best. I felt a million times better, as if I hadn’t just gone through that.
They had me order some food, and helped me to the restroom. Adrenaline was still kicked in so I had no problem walking at the time. I couldn’t eat. I wasn’t hungry. All I wanted to do was see my baby. My husband got to go see him. My mom got to go see him. My dad and brother got to go see him. I wanted to see my baby! But they said I wasn’t ready yet, so pictures my mom and hubs took had to do.
Finally around 8 pm they wheeled me up there. I stared the little bundle who caused me so much pain. All I could do was keep repeating “I love you so much.” I finally asked if I could hold him and they let me. It was pure joy and love. I didn’t want to leave him.
For my benefit my husband made me leave and go to bed. By the time I got there the adrenaline had gone away and when I tried to stand I landed on my face. My legs were useless.
I would definitely change some things my next go around.
1) I’d try not to get an epidural.
You’re probably thinking, “wait, why? You just told us how awful your birth was! Why wouldn’t you want one?!” The thing is it wasn’t worth it. 16 months later I’m still having back pain, it only worked for a short period of time, and since then I’ve learned epidural can lengthen your labor. I can’t say I won’t get one in the future because I’m a wimp, but I’m going to try not to.
2) I’d give my birth plan to my doctor sooner.
Since I was early I hadn’t talked to my doctor about my birth plan. I had an appointment the next week and was planning on talking to him then. Nothing crazy against my wishes happened that could have been prevented, but it would have given me peace of mind.
3) I’d request not to use a vacuum or forceps.
Three months later a huge fluid filled dome popped up on my son’s head. He looked like an alien with his cone head. We had no idea what caused it. We had to go to a pediatric surgeon at the closest children’s hospital. It turned out to be a hematoma caused by the vacuum and if it had been worse he would have had to have surgery to release the fluid so that the possibility on his skull growing into that shape wouldn’t happen.
4) I’d request a c-section after 4 hours of pushing.
6 hours of pushing destroyed me down there.
5) I would have requested to stay longer
We stayed for 3 days, but ended back in the hospital in less than a week. My son was only 6lbs 11oz. He lost over a pound and could not regulate his temperature. It’s normal for babies to loose some weight, but I should have know something was wrong when they told me before I left that his temperature was a little low and to keep an eye on it.
6) I would have gotten more warm preemie and newborn outfits.
Being late July it never crossed my mind that my son would get cold so easy. Newborns get cold very easy and need warm cloths.
7) I would have bought a good pump or brought bottles and formula of my choosing.
Not being able to do skin to skin or breastfeed within the first hour seriously hindered my milk supply. Although I breastfed past a year I had to supplement with formula. The hospital offered formula, but I wish I’d have had my own or a pump to immediately get my breast supply going.
8) I’d have learned more about the NICU.
Throughout my pregnancy I never thought about my son going to the NICU. I knew nothing about it which caused a lot more anxiety than there should have been.
If you’re pregnant or trying to get pregnant, don’t let my story scare you. Everyone’s pregnancy is different. No matter how hard or easy your labor is though, it is completely worth it.
The Modern Christian Mom 