Children no matter the age aren’t always going to obey you. There is no easy way to handle these situations, but these are the first six steps that have helped me with not only with my child, but in the classroom.
1) Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is the first step to discipline your child. Anytime, for any good behavior you notice, it is important to let them know that what they are doing is good.
One of the most common reasons children misbehave is to gain attention. This accounts for the majority of their disobedience. When you use positive reinforcement your child is learning that being good is how to get attention.
2) Redirection
Redirection is exactly as it sounds. You redirect their attention to something else. For example your child wants to pull your ornaments off the Christmas tree, show them some kid friendly Christmas options such as this manger scene or the Christmas tree.
This can work in so many situations, but not 100% time. Sometimes we have to learn to ignore it, which brings me to the next point.
3) Pick your Battles
If you’re like me you would doing just about anything to stop your child’s temper tantrum, especially in public. What we need to do is nothing. As long as your child isn’t a danger to themself or others ignore them.
Acknowledge their feelings, “I understand you’re having big feelings, but this kind of behavior is not going to get you what you want.” Then proceed to ignore the temper tantrum. Let them scream and throw a fit. They will learn this kind of behavior does not get them attention or what they want. This is also why positive reinforcement is important. With these two things your child will dramatically reduce their bad behavior.
4) Natural Consequences
This goes alongs with our last post. Some things there’s no point wasting time arguing over. For example, it’s cold outside and your child doesn’t want to wear their coat. Let them go without their coat. They will be cold as consequence, and will realize when you ask things of them you have their best interest in mind.
Other examples would be if you had a rule that A,B, and C had to be done before screen time. If they don’t do those tasks or wait till later theirs no screen time. Always discuss things like this in terms your child will understand.
5) Time Outs
I find this is the best option when your child is insistent on doing something that will harm themself or others. If your child is trying to stick things in the plug in or bite someone and you’ve tried all of the above it’s time for time out.
When you put your child in time out the time it needs to be based off of how old your child is. For example a one-year-old you would put in time out for one minute, two-year-old two minutes and so forth. I would also suggest using this time as a reflection or cool down time for them. Sensory toys like these are very resourceful in this time.
6) Grounding
Grounding is useful when your child continuously miss uses privileges. An example would be your child going on websites you’ve discussed not to use, or lying about what activities they were doing with their friends. In these examples you would ground them from screen time or unsupervised time with friends.
I hope this article helps you get a foothold on disciplining your child! Let me know if you have any questions or need further detail in this topic.
The Modern Christian Mom 